I'm... a work in progress

I've always wondered how we can unify humanity into some singular model to understand our being - how can we reconcile so many aspects of a people into one framework? I still like to maintain my idea of the Human array, where we are each a vector existing in an infinite dimensional space (R^n). When we see other people, we slice a portion of their vector according to very specific dimensions (more on this idea will come eventually). Anyways, my point is that I'm a work in progress - I don't think any institution can fully take someone and turn them into the perfect person. There is no perfection - it's like having an open bracket on an interval. There is so obviously a limit - having the perfect partner, amazing friends, great belongings, satisfying work - but none of this is ever actually achievable. However, we can always strive to minimize the delta between our being and perfection. Posted 24 Feb 2019.

Sweet...seventeen?

It's strange to say that I've completed my 16th year on Earth. How does my brain interpret my memories and even make decisions? I just would like to reflect on my luck - attending an amazing university, in a field that I love, with a course that I shouldn't be taking but I love, and with positions that allow me to help others. I'd like to build on my friendships, but my mentality is the long game. Posted 18 Feb 2019.

Snow!

Yay! I've loved the snow days we've gotten - it's amazing to enjoy the snow. It's crazy to think of how unique Earth is to have liquid water paired with an atmosphere that can actually produce snow. This week, I was able to spend a lot of time on Quantum Computing and am just constantly amazed - I learned Grover's algorithm and was so shaken by the entire process. Through clever rotations, we can actually manipulate qubits to amplify the probabilities of desired keys. It seems hard to believe, but the math works out. Could this be my calling? Posted 10 Feb 2019.

Growth

I met with my therapist recently and realized how much utility therapy has given - it is immensely useful to have an objective listener that provides both clinical advice and challenging assertions to break feedback loops (like mini-CBT). Really, we worked together to identify that grief might be spilling into other areas of my life, increasing irritability while simultaneously giving me another perspective on different aspects of my life. I hope to work towards our goals + self-empathy, something I personally struggle with. Posted 3 Feb 2019.

Recovery

I don't have much to say, but I do think this week has focused on adjusting back to the normal pace of life. I went to his funeral and I am slowly finding closure. I really hope that this experience helps me identify the people I really enjoy spending time with and makes me spend more time with them. Posted 27 Jan 2019.

A Terrible Loss

* This will be a long post * Yesterday, I found out that my friend committed suicide by jumping out of his room at Terry Hall. I am still in shock - we shared math together and had hung out before. He was the most positive person I know - he loved to listen to music. He loved smash and just was always so... enthusiastic. We had a playlist together, so I think I will continue to add to it and listen to his songs. I just - I just don't know why he would do this. He was smart, handsome, capable, and well liked. His second quarter was off to a good start, this is the beginning of the three. More than anything, I'm confused. He deserved better. However, especially when bad happens, we must take time to reflect on the lessons it teaches us. More than anything, his death imparts the importance of remembering that life is 1% what happens to us and 99% of how we react. His death is terrible - that is 1%. The question now is: How do we react? How do I continue his memory and continue to propagate good? What is the 99% that I can do to continue my mission of empowering everyone to achieve more? Do I regret his death? Absolutely. Do I blame it on myself? A little - I just wish he knew how much I liked him. What does this teach me? Well, it encourages me to redouble personal efforts to treat everyone with love and kindness. And, it also reminds me that the friendships that I deem worthwile should be reinvested in, while ones that perform poorly should be mercilessly and swiftly divested. This does not mean treating the other person pettily - rather, ensuring that interactions with them have limited costs. Rest in peace. I'll still listen to our playlist - maybe even add to it. I hope you can hear it. Posted 20 Jan 2019.

Back to school

We're back! I'm grateful to be back after a long break...I think 3 weeks is honestly a bit too much! I love my three day weekends. OVer break, I was lucky to travel with my parents to Antarctica! It was an amazing experience - I loved learning about the complex antarctic ecosystem and how human tourism is actually impacting the area. In fact, tourists actually cause penguins to have to reroute while reaching their nests, causing the penguins to deplete their precious supply of energy (likely stored in blubber). I even met a tour guide with a PhD in Antarctic tourism! Overall, it was an amazing experience to reflect on the diversity of our world + contemplate how CS can be applied beyond the traditional fields it is considered in. Posted 15 Jan 2019.

Tranquility

Being at college has given me an opportunity to really enjoy some alone time - to ponder what I'd like to do with my life, to understand what makes me happy, to reflect on my objectives for university. I went to the tea garden (alone) hoping for inspiration. The morning was frigid, yet the trees stood stoically and resiliently. I'd like to say that I had sudden realizations, but I didn't - simply put, going to the tea garden imparted tranquility, but it did not give a meaning to life. I suspect that finding my purpose will take many years of trial and error - and I'm ready for it. Posted 3 Dec 2018. Visited on 27 Oct 2018.

Honors 100 Reflection

You can download my reflection here. The image is of a snowy landscape (love them!) I wish Seattle had more hard precipitation, but I will happily accept the rain. :)

Academic Performance

My midterms have all gone well, but I recognized that this was only because my learning style is dependent upon sharing my knowledge with others: in essence, I learn best by teaching. This is extremely applicable for the rest of college - I should constantly seek to develop "lesson plans" to teach learned material and subconsciously reinforce the learned principles. Moreover, it allows me to continue serving others by sharing knowledge. (The image is from my math midterm - got a perfect!)

The Importance of Violin

Independently pursuing violin has really fueled metacognitive analysis. I ask myself, "Why do I like to play violin?" and "Does it make me happy?" After reflecting, I realized the violin is deeply embedded in my identity and that my love for music is a fundamental aspect of who I am. UW has emboldened my tenacity when playing violin and strengthened my love for music. (The image is of the piece I am currently working on - Praeludium and Allegro by Kriesler).

Setting a Routine

Oh, the many hours of a day! Now that I have much greater control over my schedule, I recognize how many hours each day holds - so much time to study (or relax), make friends, and just enjoy the beautiful campus. My calendar is slowly filling up with events + I'm lucky to have recurring extracurriculars like the CSE Student Advisory Council. The freedom of my schedule really enforces my sentiment that time must be carefully managed to increase productivity while still allowing spontaneity and fun!

Hello World!

Hello world!